Tamil Jokes from Magazines

Patient 1 : Why is the doctor counting 10 when there are only 5 patients ?

Patient 2 : He is counting the kidneys to be stolen.

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Doctor : You should never hide anything from your doctor.
Tell me. Is there any other problem that you've not told me ?

Patient (after some hesitation), It is you who are hiding the beautiful nurse from me by standing between us.

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Doctor : Don't worry. Your mother-in-law will get up very soon.

Daughter-in-law : This is what worries me doctor.

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Patient : This is my first operation. I'm terribly scared, doctor.

Doctor : Coward. This is even my first operation. Look. Am I scared ?

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A : I heard that a theft took place in your house. How ?

B : The robber stuffed the halwa my wife made for Diwali in our mouths, broke open the locks with the mysorepak (peta) that my wife had made & took away everything.

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Neighbour 1 : Why are you strolling on the road when your wife sings ?

Neighbour 2 : I don't want people to think that she is making all those noises because I am torturing her. I want to prove my innocence.

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Rasika 1 : Why do they call this musician ? As soon as he starts singing, people get bored & rush to the canteen.
Rasika 2 : Arre, don't you know ? His concert itself is sponsored by the canteenwallas.

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Daughter in law 1 : Heard that your Mother in law got bitten by a snake. What happened ?
Daughter in law 2 : tch! tch! What to happen! The snake died of poison

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A : Heard that your wife goes horse riding. How many kilos has she reduced ?
B : 20 Kilos.
A : Wow ! Congrats.
B : The horse lost 20 kilos.

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Patient : Doctor, wat does my medical report say ???
Doc : Your kidney failed !
Patient : I dint send my kidney for any exams....then how did it fail???

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Patient - Doctor, am unable to see things at a long distance.
Doctor bring him out of his clinic and asks -
Doctor : Can u see the moon there ???
Patient : Yes.
Doctor : Beyond this distance what u want to see ???

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Guy : U look like my second wife !
Gal : How many wives do you have?
Guy : One !

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Patient: I have swallowed a key.
Doctor: When?
Patient: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Patient: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.